Sure enough, it was under the tree Christmas day! I remember putting it on and feeling my life was totally, sublimely complete.

Later I was off to strut my ultimate gift. The first kid I bumped into was “the new kid.” I didn’t know him well, but thought he’d due. I showed him my gun and he instantly lit up, “That’s what I wanted too!!” Except he didn’t get the Peter Gunn snub-nosed 38 cap pistol with shoulder holster. He got a top. A wooden thing you wrap a string around, throw just right and it spins. That’s it.

Then he takes me to his room to show me his top. His room is a cot with a night stand next to it and a foot locker as a headboard, separated from the rest of a tiny house by a movable screen. Barely 50 square feet. Barely.

I’ll never forget my free fall from sublime completeness in my life to confusion. I remember describing what had happened to my mom and asking if they were “poor people.” No, she said, they were good, decent people, they just didn’t have as much as we had.

Each year during the holidays I think about that moment and try to do our share for the good, decent people who just don’t have as much as we have.