I’m a small business marketing consultant who’s called into every conceivable situation, good and bad.  GM has many issues I don’t know about or probably wouldn’t understand if I did that have made the slowdown in demand for cars so devastating.  However, two things have been painfully obvious: if they hadn’t been so married to the profits in big SUVs and trucks, they wouldn’t be in this mess; if they hadn’t been acting in such half measures these past few years, they wouldn’t be in this mess.

Is there a person in American who couldn’t have told GM three years ago the obvious, that the era of big SUVs is coming to an end?  How long ago was gas over $4/gallon?  How long ago was there a waiting list to buy a Prius?

Lesson #1: Embrace reality.  Your marketing will improve if you do.

I don’t fault GM for selling people big SUVs.  I fault them for not at the same time creating a “moon shot” program to develop the types of hybrid and electric cars people wanted and want to buy.  They might argue they have done this.  They haven’t (see Lesson #2 below).  If they had we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Now, forget about GM, they may be too large to fail, but you aren’t.  Nobody’s bailing you out.  So, embrace reality.  If people haven’t slowed down buying what you sell, but the writing’s on the wall that they will, get busy with Plan B.  What will they buy?  Start developing or sourcing that.  Don’t wait.  That’s the GM lesson.

Lesson #2: When you act to solve a marketing problem, make sure you solve the problem.

I heard a GM spokesperson on TV talking proudly about how many cars they have that average over 40 MPG and touting their new hybrids.  That’s just pathetic.  First, nobody’s buying those 40 MPG cars, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.  Second, GM’s newest hybrids (at least the ones they’re spending millions promoting): Escalade and Tahoe.

If so many good people weren’t losing their jobs because of management’s stupidity, introducing a hybrid Escalade would be laughable.  Seriously, a hybrid Escalade. Gee, is that like low-fat bacon?

So, if you have a problem to solve, make sure your solution is a solution.

I always ask the “zero-based” question at times like these: if you were starting over, right now, in your space, what product would you sell, how would you sell it and who would you invest money in promoting it to?  That’s what you should be doing right now, not introducing a hybrid Escalade.

The answer to the “what product would you sell?” part of that question sounds an awful lot like, in GM’s case, the Chevy Volt, right?  All electric, good range, looks cool.  Except it’s too expensive and way, way late.

Again, if you have a problem to solve, make sure your solution is a solution.  And again, forget about GM.  But nobody’s going to bail you out except you.  So, embrace the reality you’re in, and when you act, make sure you make changes that are big enough to make a difference.  And please, no Escalade hybrids!

You know, the guy on TV who yells at you as he sells those amazing products that are NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES!  It started with that silly shammy (But they hold all that water!), or was it Oxy Clean?  And now, OMG, drills, window cleaner, wall hangers, health insurance and that garden drill-thing I have no idea what it does.  His latest product and most poignant expression of the absurdity that is Billy Mays?  The five burger slider cooker.

I don’t hate Billy Mays because his commercials are the most obnoxious on TV or, arguably, the most grating in a decade.  I don’t hate Billy Mays because the claims he makes are over the top.  I hate Billy Mays because I imagine him “laughing all the way to the bank” as we marketers toil away in the belief that presenting the benefits of our clients’ products and services in ways that are consistent with buyers’ expectations is the right thing to do.

Maybe Billy isn’t such a bad guy after all.  Maybe I was just jealous.  Maybe we can learn from him:

• Like your message has to cut through the clutter to be heard.  Maybe we don’t yell, but you’re right Billy, we have to find a way to cut through.
• Like you have to demonstrate the benefits.  Bang, bang, bang.  Don’t get to esoteric or ramble.  Simple and direct.  Okay Billy, good point, thanks.
• And you have to give people an incentive to act.  Yep, right again Billy.

I guess I don’t hate Billy Mays after all.  In fact, I’m growing to appreciate him.  After all, he has become a cultural icon, just check out YouTube (parodies and remixes!):

[youtube] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tyct9l-fD8 [/youtube]

And clearly the biggest compliment of all, parodies:

[youtube] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L673I9ute30 [/youtube]

The name has been changed to protect the guilty.

My point: of course, write for your customer; but please, write with clarity.

Most copy is written for the wrong audience.  Write for your customer, not for you.  The copy I cite in this post sounds like it’s written to make the honchos at the company feel really good about themselves.  Chock full of buzz words.  Oh yeah, sustainable implementation.  An internal structure for deployment and Continuous Improvement initiatives, and how cool are WE?!

Clearly, the company that proudly displays this copy on the home page of their website  has made an assumption you know who they are and what they do before you arrive at their site.  I must also assume that business is so good they can afford to operate under this likely-to-cost-you-customers assumption.  The words in blue, almost 25%, all buzz words: “(Company name withheld) is the premier Lean consulting company that assures a robust and sustainable implementation strategy for global corporations. (Company name withheld) accomplishes sustainable implementation through the development of the internal structure for deployment and then enables the workforce, at all levels, to maintain Continuous Improvement initiatives.”

Enough about them.

When you write copy, especially on your homepage or any landing page, understand one thing: you need to communicate what you do, how you do it and why you’re different; and you need to do it quickly.  My attempt at this on my home page is the 59 words at the top of the page and the 51-second video on the right.

Using plain English and avoiding buzz words communicates.  It creates shared meaning, which usually brings with it understanding.  And isn’t that what you’re after?  Or is it to feel good about yourself by leveraging your value proposition via the deployment of rhetoric congruent with your branding initiative?   Or by leveraging your branding initiative via the deployment of your value proposition. . .you get the idea.

Agree a little?  Read William Zinsser’s wonderful book, On Writing Well.

Agree and want to get serious about it?  Buy Jonathan Clark’s complete business writing course.  (full disclosure: Jonathan is a client. . .and arguably the best business writing expert active today)